Fight 1: Plagiarism Vs. Sweden

Sweden: It’s cold. Really cold. Really absurdly cold. Really freaking absurdly cold. And they have avalanches, and people with mad crazy accents.

Plagiarism: pla⋅gia⋅rism
[pley-juh-riz-uh
m, -jee-uh-riz-]
Show IPA
Noun-
1. The unauthorized use or the close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one’s original work. (I wrote this =P)
The Battle: Sweden’s finest generals prepare an epic battle plan that will wipe Plagiarism off the the map, along with the rest of Europe, with no Swedish Causalities; thus conquering Europe as their own. Plagiarism immediately copies this idea and puts it into action saying that it was there idea first and anyone who disagrees is a liar.
And The Winner Is: PLAGIARISM
Fight 2: John McCain Vs. Joe The Plumber
John McCain: Recent Accomplishments: Losing to Barack Obama, Having a higher approval rating than “The Shrub” and Preparing to conquer Russia with Palin (from her house.)

Joe The Plumber: Recent Accomlishments: Beating up an electrical mouse, getting more than his 5 minutes of fame, and eating spaghetti with two co-workers that are head to toe in red and green.
The Battle: They are both tired from their previous epic showdowns, and they decide to let the country choose the victor.
And The Winner Is: Joe The Plumber (Because his approval ratings are slightly higher.)
Fight 3: A Ninjapirate Vs. Kirby

Ninjapirate: Ninjapirates are one of the rarest species in the universe. The only form when Ninjas and Pirates combine, and since they are sworn mortal enemies this is nearly impossible. However during the last fight it miraculously (or catastrophically) happened. Now We have a ninjapirate on our hands. One of the most awesome things in the universe.

Kirby: Ummm… yeh, its a pink blob that eats things to absorb their abilities. can we get onto the ninjapirate winning now?
The Battle: Just as the ninjapirate attacks, Kirby sucks in a bunch of cakes and various other desserts. the ninjapirate is swallowed along with them. As Kirby swallows, he transforms… Into ninjapirate Kirby!
And The Winner Is: NINJAPIRATE KIRBY
Fight 4: The Infinite Improbability Drive Vs. A Goomba

The Infinite Improbability Drive: It RUNS on how improbable the events are. This one’s abilities are a total wild card.

A Goomba: Ummm… Well if it walks into the infinite improbability drive than it will probably kill it. I guess.
The Battle: the Goomba walks in a straight line towards the infinite improbability drive. Suddenly a Sperm Whale Wearing a Bowl of petunias that spell out the words “Oh No, Not Again” Using exactly 42 pieces of grass flollops on top of the goomba. At which point the grass changes to spell out the words “Looks like a fish, Moves like a fish, steers like a cow.”
And The Winner Is: THE INFININTE IMPROBABILITY DRIVE
Fight 5: Blendtec Total Blender Vs. An Exploding Canister

Blendtec Total Blender: It can blend anything. ANYTHING! (right?) It has but one question to ask of you… Will It Blend?

An Exploding Canister: KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The Battle: The Blendtec total blender attempts to blend the exploding canister. It explodes, damaging the blender, but the blender refuses to give up. It keeps trying to blend it. More and more canisters are blended and more and more damage is done until the blendtec total blender can blend no more.
And The Winner Is: AN EXPLODING CANISTER
Fight 6: the Nerd Vs. The OTHER Tom Cruz

The Nerd: He’s the angriest gamer you’ve ever heard, he’s the angry videogame nerd; And he’s back to kick some (sorry, but I have to censor this part. He swears alot. ALOT.)

The OTHER Tom Cruz: He has Cruz Missles and can squash the nerd without too much trouble. ‘Nuff said.
The Battle: The OTHER Tom Cruz Tries to jump on The Nerd, but the Nerd Summons Giant Enemy Crabs which flip The OTHER Tom Cruz over and attack his weak point for massive damage. The OTHER Tom Cruz lunges at the nerd again, he thinks he lands on hi m this time, but it turns out that the server is bad and The OTHER Tom Cruz is lagging. The Nerd then attacks him from behind finishing him off
And The Winner Is: THE NERD
Tune In Later For ROUND 3!
P.S. The description of plagiarism is from dictionary.com, I do not practice plagiarism and neither should you.
Links So That YOU TOO can get the in jokes from this post.
Ninja Pirate: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ninja_Pirate
Infinite Improbability Drive: Just look up the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series of books by Douglass Adams.
BlendTec Total Blender: http://www.willitblend.com/
Angry Videogame Nerd: http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?page_id=13
Giant Enemy Crabs: (This is a youtube video, so I’ll put it here later since I can’t access it from school.)