Nick’s Blog, Read, Comment, Request, Enjoy!

Comedy, videos, and anything else I have to/ feel like posting about!

Ideas Please!

Hey everyone, I need some ideas for posts to write. Anything interesting you want me to write about? Any of my opinions you want to hear? Any of your opinions I can debate? Any Mainstream (or any other kind) of media you want me to bash? PLEASE tell me, and I will get them out. Thank you all in advance!

Ultimate Showdown Round 3 Brackets

Hey everyone, here are the brackets for round three. Only 3 fights this time (Yes I know the numbers weren’t right from the start, I declined to think ahead. I’ll keep that in mind if I ever do something like this again.) So I will try to have the actuall round three posted soon (which means it’ll be years, going by my past promises for the blog.)

ultimate-showdown-round-3

 

(P.S.) Just kidding about that. (hopefully)

The Ultimate Showdown Round 2

Fight 1: Plagiarism Vs. Sweden

Sweden: It’s cold. Really cold. Really absurdly cold. Really freaking absurdly cold. And they have avalanches, and people with mad crazy accents.

Plagiarism: pla⋅gia⋅rism

[pley-juh-riz-uhm, -jee-uh-riz-] Show IPA

Noun-

1. The unauthorized use or the close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one’s original work. (I wrote this =P)

The Battle: Sweden’s finest generals prepare an epic battle plan that will wipe Plagiarism off the the map, along with the rest of Europe, with no Swedish Causalities; thus conquering Europe as their own. Plagiarism immediately copies this idea and puts it into action saying that it was there idea first and anyone who disagrees is a liar.

And The Winner Is: PLAGIARISM

Fight 2: John McCain Vs. Joe The Plumber

John McCain: Recent Accomplishments: Losing to Barack Obama, Having a higher approval rating than “The Shrub” and Preparing to conquer Russia with Palin (from her house.)

Joe The Plumber: Recent Accomlishments: Beating up an electrical mouse, getting more than his 5 minutes of fame, and eating spaghetti with two co-workers that are head to toe in red and green.

The Battle: They are both tired from their previous epic showdowns, and they decide to let the country choose the victor.

And The Winner Is: Joe The Plumber (Because his approval ratings are slightly higher.)

Fight 3: A Ninjapirate Vs. Kirby

Ninjapirate: Ninjapirates are one of the rarest species in the universe. The only form when Ninjas and Pirates combine, and since they are sworn mortal enemies this is nearly impossible. However during the last fight it miraculously (or catastrophically) happened. Now We have a ninjapirate on our hands. One of the most awesome things in the universe.

Kirby: Ummm… yeh, its a pink blob that eats things to absorb their abilities. can we get onto the ninjapirate winning now?

The Battle: Just as the ninjapirate attacks, Kirby sucks in a bunch of cakes and various other desserts. the ninjapirate is swallowed along with them. As Kirby swallows, he transforms… Into ninjapirate Kirby!

And The Winner Is: NINJAPIRATE KIRBY

Fight 4: The Infinite Improbability Drive Vs. A Goomba

The Infinite Improbability Drive: It RUNS on how improbable the events are. This one’s abilities are a total wild card.

A Goomba: Ummm… Well if it walks into the infinite improbability drive than it will probably kill it. I guess.

The Battle: the Goomba walks in a straight line towards the infinite improbability drive. Suddenly a Sperm Whale Wearing a Bowl of petunias that spell out the words “Oh No, Not Again” Using exactly 42 pieces of grass flollops on top of the goomba. At which point the grass changes to spell out the words “Looks like a fish, Moves like a fish, steers like a cow.”

And The Winner Is: THE INFININTE IMPROBABILITY DRIVE

Fight 5: Blendtec Total Blender Vs. An Exploding Canister

Blendtec Total Blender: It can blend anything. ANYTHING! (right?) It has but one question to ask of you… Will It Blend?

An Exploding Canister: KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The Battle: The Blendtec total blender attempts to blend the exploding canister. It explodes, damaging the blender, but the blender refuses to give up. It keeps trying to blend it. More and more canisters are blended and more and more damage is done until the blendtec total blender can blend no more.

And The Winner Is: AN EXPLODING CANISTER

Fight 6: the Nerd Vs. The OTHER Tom Cruz

The Nerd: He’s the angriest gamer you’ve ever heard, he’s the angry videogame nerd; And he’s back to kick some (sorry, but I have to censor this part. He swears alot. ALOT.)

The OTHER Tom Cruz: He has Cruz Missles and can squash the nerd without too much trouble. ‘Nuff said.

The Battle: The OTHER Tom Cruz Tries to jump on The Nerd, but the Nerd Summons Giant Enemy Crabs which flip The OTHER Tom Cruz over and attack his weak point for massive damage. The OTHER Tom Cruz lunges at the nerd again, he thinks he lands on hi m this time, but it turns out that the server is bad and The OTHER Tom Cruz is lagging. The Nerd then attacks him from behind finishing him off

And The Winner Is: THE NERD

Tune In Later For ROUND 3!

P.S. The description of plagiarism is from dictionary.com, I do not practice plagiarism and neither should you.

Links So That YOU TOO can get the in jokes from this post.

Ninja Pirate: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ninja_Pirate

Infinite Improbability Drive: Just look up the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series of books by Douglass Adams.

BlendTec Total Blender: http://www.willitblend.com/

Angry Videogame Nerd: http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?page_id=13

Giant Enemy Crabs: (This is a youtube video, so I’ll put it here later since I can’t access it from school.)

Everybody Should Just Nick.

Nick [ spelling pron. nik]

-Verb (Used with Object)

1. To Release oneself from worry or tension: You seem to be having some trouble with your work; you should nick for awhile. OR There is no need to worry, just nick try to use the Force.

Synonyms: Relax, Calm

Antonyms: Worry, Aggravate

Probably Useless Triva

So, for the multimedia question for the blogging challenge I thought I might put something out for you all to enjoy… but then I decided against it and made this =P The following is a quiz that consists of random and probably useless information that I just happened to know. I hope you all find a use for it, or at least get a laugh out of it!

Ultimate Showdown Round 2 Brackets (FINALLY!)

So, there were some major technical difficulties with this one (I was lazy and forgot about it), but It’s Finally Here! Check Out the brackets below. The fights will be posted in the next day or 2.

ultimate-showdown-round-2

Democracy: What it is. (Is what it is)

Democracy by definition is a political system that allows the people to have power. They elect their officials, and their officials listen to their opinions and present ideas to the rest to help benefit the public. These elections are meant to completely free, and absent of corruption or intimidation. All citizens have an equal right to power and freedoms.

For democracy to work, it can’t just be the government running the show, the citizens have to step up and do their part. Voting, expressing their oppinions to their elected officials, and keep up to date in current events are all important things for citizens to do. For a democracy to work on a larger level, citizens need to work on the smaller level, joining local orginizations, and participating in things that will help their community.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy

http://www.stanford.edu/~ldiamond/iraq/WhaIsDemocracy012004.htm

 

Definition by Intention.

The following example is from one of my favorite mangas, Yu-Yu-Hakasho. A little boy is playing in the street with a rubber ball. a car with a couple of stupid teenagers starts racing down the street and doesn’t see the boy. A man nearby sees what is going to happen, and he tries to push the boy out of the way. The boy gets mostly out of the way of the car, but his hand is crushed by the wheel, and the man who pushed him out of the way dies. The man finds out later that the ball would have actually protected the boy, and he would have escaped without a scratch, but since the man pushed him, the boy ended up with a crippled hand and the man died. Should he be judged because he tried to save a boy, or because he killed a man and crippled a boy?

The intention is what matters. What happened was his fault, but he did not intend for it to happen, it was an honest mistake. The original purpose was not altered. We don’t live in a vaccuum. Everyone will make mistakes, and there will almost always be outside factors that will affect the result. If we are to judge somebody based on their actions, we must know their intentions as well. Here is an example of why:

A person in a huge office building makes a prank call to 911 telling them that there is a fire in the building so that he can evacuate everyone and use that opportunity to rob the place. Minutes after he hangs up, the boiler explodes and the building is engulfed in flames in minutes, Suddenly the firetrucks arive. They put out the fire and save everyone inside, many of hich were seconds from being caught by the flames. The only reason the people survived is that the person made the prank call to 911. The man should not be regarded as a hero, however, as his actions were hardly of a hero. He was trying to do something bad, and he ended up saving people. His intentions are what he should be held responsible for.

Most people are judged immediatly by their actions. People don’t want to take the time to figure out what the purpose behind them were. In the last example, the people would regard the man as a hero. If they were to do more research into the matter, they would realize that the man was evil and a crook. However most people can’t be bother to do the research. For most people, the first instinct is to take everything at face value, and that isn’t right. People are judged by their actions, but they should be judged by their intentions.

Book Essay: Technology comparison

This essay is a technology comparison between 1984, Minority Report, And the world today. Enjoy.

Technology today is very impressive. Just buying using a credit card it is a simple matter for someone who wants to to track what you have bought. There are cameras everywhere that are invisible to the naked eye, but everyone knows that they are there and that it would be a bad idea to just take something. Of course, this system is not flawless as things are being stolen every day. If you get in trouble for doing something you shouldn’t, it is usually relatively easy to find out a lot of information about you. Look up your credit card payments; look up where you live, look up anything you’ve done in the past. With today’s technology this is all relatively simple. Of course, in today’s world you don’t have to worry about saying anything outside of what you are “supposed to”

                In Oceania, Big Brother is watching. There are cameras and microphones in every house, and they are all under surveillance. You cannot speak anything outside of Newspeak. Newspeak is a language that prides itself as getting smaller every year. This is so that you not only will not think anything outside of what the government wants you to, but you cannot think anything outside of what the government wants you too, since you wouldn’t have the words to express it. For example the sentence “Freedom is a right that belongs to every man” simply couldn’t exist in newspeak, as the words “Freedom” and “Right” don’t exist. Instead those words and that entire sentence would be shortened to one word “Crimethink”. Anything that the government doesn’t want you to think goes under the umbrella of that word. There are many ways that Big Brother monitors you to make sure that you aren’t crimethinking, he need to because crimethink is doubleplusungood. Some of these ways are the cameras and microphones, similar to the ones watching us today, also there are detailed records kept of everyone, also there are people, similar to today that get great joy and pride out of ratting out crimethinkers.

                In the year 2057 there are eye scanners everywhere. Walk into a store, your eyes are scanned. Walk down a street, your eyes are scanned. Get into a car, your eyes are scanned. These scans are used for two things, 1. Targeted advertising, and 2. To keep a very detailed record of where you’ve been, what you’ve done there, and where you’re going. If you get in trouble for anything, these incredibly detailed records will be waiting for the cops. There is no real need to search. Just pull up the name and you have the records. These can keep track of VIPs, fugitives, anyone the government or the cops need to keep track of. Such as the people who are to be arrested for future murder by pre-crime. Pre-crime is a system in which the three pre-cogs have visions of murders that are about to happen. With these visions, you can usually see who is the murder, who is the victim, and usually other details such as the location. Once you know what’s going to happen to who where, it is usually easy to find the future murderer and stop him before he can kill, since he is being scanned everywhere he goes. There is also a detailed record about him, but since there is no judge or jury to give him a lighter punishment, that is irrelevant.

                All things considered, all of these systems have their ups and downs (most of the downs are due to invasion of freedom) But they all do things in a relatively similar manner. America today uses cameras and credit cards among other things to keep track of people. America in 2057 uses more advanced cameras, and Oceania uses cameras and microphones, and other people. None of these systems work all the time or are the best way to do things, but they are all similar and they work most of the time for what they are supposed to. America today has less crime than it would without them, America in 2057 is virtually crime free, and Oceania is almost totally free of, well, freedom.

Book Essay: Animal Farm.

This is an essay I did recently on the book Animal Farm. It is done in the style of a closing statement in a trial. Enjoy.

Animal Farm: Napoleon’s Trial.

Ladies and gentleman of the Jury, we were here to charge Napoleon Porker with crimes against society and intelligent life. I believe that I have proven that he is guilty, beyond reasonable doubt, of these heinous crimes. Which include murder with malicious intent, deceit, the breaking of many animal labor laws, the theft of intellectual property, and the breaking of civil laws. This undisputed evidence must lead you to a verdict of guilt.

                        The first crime that I would like to remind you of is his deceit. He has told countless lies. One of the more despiteful fallacies was the fact that he made everyone believe that Snowball was a traitor, and had been working for the enemies all along, when indeed he was, in reality, the victim of this cruel, power-hungry liar. He also lied about the productivity and the amount of progress that the animals were making, when they were actually much worse off than they were before Napoleon’s rule. They had less food, more and harder work, and they had to break their own commandments, such as trading with humans. This made these hardworking innocent animals believe that Napoleon was a much better leader than he actually was.

            I addition to deception, Napoleon was also guilty of theft, since all of the products that the animals produced were taken by him and sold. They did not give them to him, nor did they agree to any kind of contract about this with Napoleon. Even though they knew he was stealing and objected, they were powerless to stop him, as they knew that they would be killed is they so much as spoke up. It was not even profiting them; the only ones that it was benefiting were Napoleon and his chosen friends. Think of the hens for example. They had all of their eggs taken and sold. Few of their eggs will ever be eaten by anyone besides humans, and even fewer will grow to be chickens. Napoleon also committed theft of intellectual property, since the idea for the windmill that was to be built was conceived and planned by Snowball, but Napoleon took the ideas and passed them off as his own.

            Yet another crime Napoleon committed was the breaking of labor laws. He was forcing the animals to work practically nonstop on just enough rations to keep them alive, and sometimes not even that much. He didn’t care about the animals, he only cared about himself and his nuclear group of friends. He also offered a minimal amount of retirement funds, which he didn’t actually follow through on as he allowed no one to retire and made them all work until they were no longer physically capable, at which point they were merely removed as they no longer had a use. Poor Boxer, whom I brought up earlier, was forced to keep working until he wasn’t able to carry out his job anymore, and then he was sent to the glue factory, which no doubt paid Napoleon for his “Kind” contribution.

            Further more, he also broke the commandments which everyone had made. He killed other animals, wore clothes, drank, slept in a bed, and more. These commandments were created so that the animals would not become like the humans, and yet this greedy, power-hungry monster chose to break them instead. Even after this horrible hypocrite committed these acts which went against everyone’s beliefs, he had the sheer nerve to change the constitution without consulting anyone so that it would benefit him and his nuclear group of friends. Even when he perverted the constitution, he hid all evidence that he had changed it by lying, and this was not the only account of him hiding evidence of his crimes. However, did his fraudulent behavior end here? No, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, it didn’t.

Another of his many frauds was to create two medals of war, and then awarded them to himself so that he could back up the lies of the stories that he was telling and people would be more willing to believe him. Even before he did that, Napoleon took away medals from other animals that actually had done something to deserve them. Snowball, for example, was the first hero to be awarded a medal of honor, and due to Napoleon’s evil he was the first to be stripped of it.

The final crime that I would like to bring to your attention is Napoleon’s thirteen plus counts of murder with malicious intent. He ordered the deaths of four pigs, three hens, three geese, six sheep, a horse, a cow, four humans, and many other unidentified intelligent animals. Poor Boxer the horse was far over his age to retire and he was still working strongly, but when he could no longer work, Napoleon sent him to the glue factory and told the other animals that he was going to a doctor. While he did not kill all of these animals himself, he ordered them to their deaths when they had committed no crimes other than the freedom of thought. Some of the animals died in battle, but it was due to Napoleon’s commands that they fought, not their own free will.

 

All of this, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, leads to the one central fact that Napoleon Porker abused his dictatorship to commit all of these crimes against society and intelligent life. He started off saying that everyone was equal, but as he went on he started living less and less by this philosophy until he became just as bad as the man that they overthrew to start all of this. Thank you.

Most Powerful Thing To Say

There are many powerful things that you can say to someone, but almost all of them are situational. The most powerful thing I can think of to say to someone in many situations is… Nothing. Nothing at all. I don’t mean there is nothing powerful you can say, I mean the most powerful thing you can say is nothing. If you let someone speak their mind without interruption, then the thoughts will keep flowing. The more thoughts flow, the more important and creative ideas will come out, and the more the person will think about it. This doesn’t work in every situation of course, but there is nothing you could say that would work in every situation.

Some other things I came up with:

“Why?”

“Thank You.”

“I think you are right/wrong” (honest answer, not white lie.)

The Quality Of My Life Is Determined By The Quality Of…

The quality of my life is determined by the quality of myself.

It took me awhile to boil it down to that answer, but it encompasses all of my other answers. There are many things that determine the quality of your life. Your environment, your peers, and your creativity among other things. But the thing that determines how all of those will impact you is your own personality. If you are a person who loves nature and camping, and you are brought up in a city with people who prefer galleries of art depicting nature to actual nature and you can’t think of a way to make your situation better, the quality of your life is going to be very low. If you are a City lover who likes to spend time in galleries brought up in the same situation as the first person, the quality of you life will be fairly high. It all depends on your personality.

Changing myself.

If I were to change one thing about myself to better myself in the most efficient way possible, it would be to allow myself to focus on things I may not want to or be able to focus on. If I could do that then i would be able to do many more things. My grades would improve, as I would be able to focus on things that don’t interest me. My worldview would improve, as I could pay more attention to what is going on around me. I would be able to stop procrastinating as I would be able to focus and what needs to be done. The only thing that is holding me back from this is my A.D.D., but the problem is getting better as I have recently been put on medicine. Hopefully I will not be able to focus more and better myself. If I can’t focus on things, I won’t be able to efficiently accomplish anything or help anyone.

A thought.

What is it that makes the world go ’round? Is it money? Is it intelligence? There is no true answer to this question. * “But Wait,” Says the man in Washington, “It is democracy that makes the world go ’round”. “But wait,” Says the man in the Vatican, “It is God that makes the world go ’round”. “But Wait,” Says the Man in Soviet Russia, “It is everyone that makes the world go ’round”. I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose… Nothing!* I don’t really think that there is any one thing that makes the world go ’round, it is a combination of many things. Money, Intelligence, democracy, and life among other things. Sorry for not having a definitive answer. What are your opinions?

The section inside the *s is a referance to Bioshock. If you haven’t played it watch this short video so you can get the referance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxL-aRh3F84

 

150 characters

Thinking creatively on the spot is hard. I shouldn’t complain about it though, because the alternative, being told what to write, isn’t good either. You can’t force creativity.